This was the man's parents house...
and everyone in the clan always gathered at
grandma and grandpa's house when his kids were growing up.
Then grandpa got sick and passed away.
The man and ex divorced.
Their family holidays fell apart once grandpa died.
Especially after grandma remarried and moved in with her new husband.
The man's daughter, R, lamented that she missed big family holidays here.
So the man asked me if I would mind doing Thanksgiving here.
It's nice that he asked, but not required.
What are holidays for if not to have your family together?
Of course we could host Thanksgiving!
I texted all his kids to invite them.
I also invited the man's ex...
She has been a family member way longer than I have.
She belongs with the family.
Besides we have been to birthday parties and
last Christmas at Jr's and we got along fine.
R dropped in on me today.
She, her husband and kids will be coming.
She wants to come over and help cook...
I still didn't know if Jr and family were coming.
They have been out of state and not gotten back to me.
R said there might be a problem with them.
Her mom, the ex, says she does not want to come.
I make her feel weird.
I'm very sorry about that.
I have done everything I can possibly do to make her
comfortable around me.
I thought we were getting along well.
I guess not.
The man's kids are in a situation where they don't want
their mom to be sitting home alone
They feel badly and worry for her.
But I do feel bad for R, who wanted to have
a big family gathering here like she had growing up.
That was the whole point of having it here.
R's attitude is that this is her mom's problem.
R wants to be here.
R thinks that maybe Jr. and family and her
youngest brother will want to be with their mom.
I could see that it was hard for her to discuss this,
but she wanted me to know,
but she wanted me to know,
so that I would not be
surprised if they did not come...
and to understand why.
I appreciate that.
So far it's the in-laws, his grandson and R's group.
If the others make other plans,
I hope they will let me know...
one way or another.
I need to know to plan my menu and shopping list.
I am ready to start baking goodies!
I am also looking forward to having R and little N
help with the cooking.
Kids in the kitchen crack me up!
Holidays without kids are kind of sad to me.
I miss mine and I'm ready to celebrate with anyone
who is willing to come...
especially the kids!
Yet I find myself feeling odd about this deal with their mom.
This is the man's Thanksgiving too...
and he would like to have his kids around to celebrate with him.
Its sad that she won't let that happen
because it makes her feel odd.
Maybe we need to set up a schedule...
alternate years for holidays.
That way both parents could have their kids all together.
That way neither parent is left totally out.
I had friends as a kid who had divorced
parents who did that.
Still, as adults I do not see any reason that we cannot
all celebrate together.
Can being around me for a day
honestly be that much worse than sitting alone?
I just don't get it.