Friday, February 7, 2014


Time for an update.
I hope to be back writing regularly soon.
This will have to do for now...
so that you know that I have every intention of
I have forgotten no one.
I miss you all.

First the most devastating of newses...
(is that even a word; newses?)
I still cannot believe that we lost laura b.
Seems impossible with someone so young and full of exuberance. 
You know this news of course.
I wanted to say something.
I miss you laura b.
I miss  your brightness and your joy in sharing...
that wonderful sense of fun.

Then the most incomprehensible of news,
I lost my father.
I know, he was 87 years old for heaven's sake.
It was bound to happen sooner or later.
But my father was a man who worked hard all his life.
Not because he had to, but because he chose to.
He liked physical activity and kept very active.

Its the way he died.
He hardly ever got sick.
But, this year he got shingles.
You hear a lot about them.
Related to chicken pox.
The virus that many mothers purposely exposed their children to
when young because it is easier on the young than adults.

That's what killed my otherwise healthy father.
His shingles showed up on his head and 
curved down his face following an angry nerve.
It caused swelling in his brain...
then brain damage.

He went from a healthy and fun old man to 
instant dementia with very little sense of reality.
He was frightened and scared much of the end of his life.
He briefly entered into reality to tell us very directly
"I don't want to live like this."
He stopped eating.
We let him without challenge.
As per his living will, no attempts to feed him were made.
 He died in his sleep after about a week.

I am still getting used to this.
One of those thoughts that feel too expansive
to be in your head.
But I was at peace with his death
when it happened.
No one should end their life frightened
 and feeling like they are with strangers.

He was a good dad.
I'm glad he was mine.
Event when I pissed him off royally...
he was still there for me.

Who knew?


We are still fighting for Randy's Disability.
We hired lawyers.
The claim was refiled after he was turned down.
Everyone says they always turn you down the first time.
Yeah, whatever.
I am sick of waiting for Disability.
I am sick of lawyers who claim they can rush things.
It has almost been a year.

On the sunny side...
Randy is all set with his VA health insurance now.
They will help pay off some of the stroke bills.
Plus he has medical care that won't kill us to use.
My health insurance sucks.
I have a $1,750 deductible.

Our taxes are filed and we are not getting much,
but it beats sitting on a tack.
It will help pay those pesky bills.

We were going up to bury my Dad this weekend.
But we have much snow up here...
which scared off my Cali family.
The mortuary will do it alone.
I do not like this.

If I can.
If the snow will allow me to...
I will be there to watch until the last clump

The sunny part of that will be seeing my kids and their kids.




Monday, September 2, 2013



Ok. I’ve had folks checking up on me and asking for updates… so here it is.
Thank you for your concern.  It is appreciated.  =:]
Life has been busy recently. 

On the good end… my amazing daughter, Bear…
Who took her final test for nursing school on the afternoon of Aug.6th
And gave me my newest granddaughter in the early hours of
Aug. 7th
And then…
Graduated from nursing school on Aug 24th!

 The Bear

I am so very proud of Bear.
To top it off, her doctor offered her a job in his clinic…
After taking some baby time.
Now that’s the way to work it!

Here are some pics of the event...

 Avery Rebecca

 Proud big brother.

 Turkey, G'pa Fuzzy and Avery
(The cigar is out!  I swear it !)

 Turkey lost his tooth in the parking lot.

Olivia dancing... she knows how to celebrate!

Squeaky was living with us and helping out with Randy.
But he was offered a job with Xerox…
As one of the tech people for their line of smart phone products.
And has moved north again to take advantage of that.
I’m pretty proud of him too.

That brings us to Randy and myself.
We took a trip up to DPH to watch the Bear graduate
And meet Avery Rebecca.
I fell deeply in love with her, sigh.
Spending time with her proud big brother was fun too.
So much happiness there that it was hard to come home.

But home we came.
Roxy was crazy happy to see us.
You’d think that we had been gone for a week
Instead of over night.
I had a last “day off” of doing laundry,
Making lunches for myself and Randy for the week.

I snore.
Very loudly, I am told.
So we have opted to use separate bedrooms for sleeping…
Now that Squeaky is gone and one opened up.

I never thought that I would like that arrangement.
But its a lot like when I was a kid and finally got my own room…
I do like the freedom of sleeping however I like…
Including sprawled out kitty-corner if I wish.
I can have the air conditioner or fan on as long as I like and not have to
Worry about Randy getting grumpy about being cold.
I love to be cold when I sleep.
I can watch whatever show I want and not have to consult
The man who doesn’t like most of my shows.
So that was a nice surprise.

We wait.
I am waiting to be old enough to retire.
So that I can be home to help the man.
We are still waiting for disability to be determined.
It should be a “Duh” sort of decision.
His doctors all say he cannot work,
Cannot drive.
So we wait.
I’d much rather be proactive about it.
Waiting is no fun.
  But I am good at it.