Watch out Elmer Fudd!
Silly's got a gun.
Never in my wildest imagination would I have ever considered buying a gun.
That was before I met the man and got hooked on shooting.
Never in my wildest imagination would I have seen myself out in the woods hunting.
That also was before I met the man, who hunts.
Here are some facts to consider.
1) I have a thing about being in the great outdoors alone...
a panic attack inducing sort of thing.
2) I'm 56 years old for goodness sakes! What an odd time of life to take up such a thing.
3) Its one thing to shot vicious cans, bottles and targets...
quite another to blow Bambi's dad away.
Yet there I was yesterday in Cabela's buying a rifle for myself.
I don't have the words to tell you how odd that felt...
taking the rifle in my arms and trying to point it not in the direction of any of the staff and shoppers crowding to get what they needed for hunting season's opening day this Saturday.
I couldn't help but wonder what other people thought of old grandma over there
checking out the rifles.
I swear I heard snickers...
Hey! I do have a gun you know!
Tone down the giggles...
I might be a silly old rabbit... but a lot of you Fudds have been blowing my kindred away.
(Actually, I got a case of the giggles myself.)
And it was so very weird to be finger printed and filling out forms for the State Police
background check... that had nothing what so ever to do with working with children.
Or waiting for them to approve me.
Weirder and weirder...
to be walked outside with my rifle.
Fortunately the nice man suggested that I get a "youth rifle".
Don't let that fool you... it will still bring down a good sized buck.
It's just that the silly rabbit here is short
and not exactly a circus strong man.
Then I was home with it... out of the box...
where I could aim at things in my back yard and play around.
No worries, I have not loaded it yet.
I showed it off to my neighbor, a nice lady who hunts
and she made nice appropriate noises.
I showed it to Todd, who hunts,
when he came over to work in our shop.
Then there we were... Todd, the man and I...
bent over a map of where we will be hunting...
making our battle plan.
It felt scary and dreamy at the same time.
I made noise about my phobia about being in the woods alone.
We all take a separate area for safety reasons.
There are quick elevation changes that help keep us out of the line of fire.
Todd assured me that he would be close enough to hear me scream...
and they would all be there if I needed help.
I will have a radio.
I will also have a special something in my pocket that does not have a trigger to catch on my clothing if I need to pull it out.
I fear bears and cougars.
I have never faced a cougar, but I have faced a hungry bear.
I was impressed that I did not pee my pants, but don't want to repeat that.
Mostly, I fear being alone in the middle of no where.
I am excited, nervous and a bit scared.
Today we go to have my sight aligned correctly.
I've never done this before.
I will get to shoot my rifle for the first time.
Those are not words I ever imagined writing.