Monday, June 27, 2011

 He looks like the Illustrated Man.
Tats all over, bald head, kick-boxer strong body.
His rides reflect his style...
a pick up truck with a "murder" paint job,
a blood red Crystler 300,
and a big mean Harley that rumbles like a dangerous cat.

There were predictions of doom for the neighborhood.

There was excitement.
There was something new and unknown in a place where things generally stay the same.
What the heck was this going to be like?

The day they bought it, they moved in, just as it was.
mediately the lawn got a buzzz cut and the shrubs neat trims.
Within a week the house was painted light olive green with charcole trim.
By the third week, the spotty long neglected lawn was pealed up and taken away.
Rich sod was laid in a bean shape outlined by wood chips
and interesting lawn ornaments.

Meanwhile, at least once a week a big black barbecue was rolled into the drive
and things slow cooked there parfumed our air.
They began to wave... we waved back.

That's when the lawn jockies began showing up across the street
(not the kind pictured above)
in a battered old pick up from the 60s, with a big trailer filled with monster machines.
A crew of four jumped out, and did both front and back yards in 20 minutes tops.
I developed a fascination of this weekly process and deep non-malicious envy!

We guessed that this was the Illustrated Man's business.
I had a desire to ask if he knew what would kill my endless weeds.
Chicken that I am, I did not follow through.

A few days ago, after returning from taking Roxy for a ride,
the Illustrated Man asked if he could meet her.
No suspicious growls or rumbles...all wiggles... her new best friend.
The subject of his assumed landscaping work came up.

You know what they say about assumtions!
It's his cousin's business, not his.
But he promised to ask what his cousin would suggest to stop my weed wars.
We visited a few minutes more, then he vanished back into the best kept home on the street.

True to his word, yesterday the Illustrated Man returned with awesome news.
His cousin has offered to kill our weeds for us... for good
The cost? A mere $25... just for supplies, labor is free.
An offer too good to be true!
Then as our mysterious neighbor turned to go... he asked for "a favor".

Ut-oh, I thought, here's the catch to the great deal.
"Whenever I barbecue, we have so much left over that I end up throwing food away...
next time I fire her up... will you come over and help us eat it?"
Yeah, I think we can do that.

In the meantime, I will laugh at my weeds instead of spending endless hours attempting to remove them by hand.
Clearly, that is not working out for me.
Three utility trailers of weeds have gone to the yard recycle center!
Still they keep a comin'!
I'll focus today on mowing the rear yard
and working in my new flower bed...
with a little help...
I'll get this right yet.


  1. What a nice guy! Neighbors like that are exceedingly rare. Treasure him.

  2. Suldog- I was commenting on your post while you were commenting on mine. =:D I love it when that happens.
    You are so right about neighbors like that being rare. We intend to treasure and spoil him rotten!
    Neighborhoods have changed since I was a kid... used to be we knew everyone and we all got together. Not so much these days. We know them all, but do not hang together. Some took an instant dislike to him because of his tats. Their loss!

  3. i like to judge a book by it's cover. maybe that's why i fuck up so often.

  4. billy pilgrim- That's gotten me in trouble on a few occasions.

  5. Gotta love a man who shares BBQ! :-) That's great.
    BTW< couldn't find your email, but for some extra small money:

  6. NoRegrets- LOL! I do love a man who barbecues. =:D
    Thank you for the link!

  7. This sounds like a job for Mary Louise Parker and Showtime, kids.

  8. Wow. he sounds like the best kind of neighbor. You guys are lucky.

  9. Will" take no prisoners" Hart- Ha!

  10. Churlita- I think he is and I'm glad they moved here. Their house used to make the whole street look sad. Now its all crisp and clean and they are nice, nice people.