A great picture that has nothing to do with my post!
She told me that I was too nice.
That me "being nice" all the time was dishonest.
No one knows what I really think about anything.
No one respects nice.
(Nice = me.)
I looked at her for a moment and considered the words.
"Why do you think that someone can't give their honest opinion and still be kind about it?"
"That's just stupid. Get mad. Everyone gets mad."
She proved that point when...
She shook her head, rolled her eyes and grabbed her purse to abandon the conversation unfinished.
She does that when she feels frustrated.
She decides when the conversation is over, which generally precludes a response that she does not want to hear.
After she left, I thought more about what she said.
Yes, I certainly do get mad.
I really do have opinions.
I have my peeves like anyone else...
selfishness, pettiness, bullies/bitches and the mean things that people do that are needlessly unkind or outright cruel.
She is afflicted by the attitude that everything in life is about her, personally...
yet nothing is ever her fault or responsibility.
The belief that just because she wants something,
that she should have that thing without earning it.
That she has the right to say whatever pops out of her mouth without care for anyone's feelings...
"I'm just being honest." or "I'm just keeping it real."
She is very proudly "not nice".
Not being nice is a luxury for the immature or the old, frightened and angry.
That is my opinion.
I speak this having gotten over myself by my 40s.
The truth is that I do not like drama.
I make choices with care.
I stand my ground when I feel strongly.
But I also try to be as tactful as possible.
If you hurt or frighten someone, you get nowhere.
Pretty basic life skills.
I guess some of it is that I have changed my opinion on what exactly is important in the world.
Things are not the motor behind my drive for life... though I sure do enjoy having nice things when I can.
It does not end my world when I can't have that new smart phone.
I can make do with my stupid phone.
What is important?
Being with people I love and treasure, reasonable good health, laughter, sharing, giving and receiving affection, good conversation, enjoying simple pleasures like reading and creating, seeing the things in my yard bloom... and the zen of fishing with my feet in the pond.
I'm past all that stuff that get people of that maturity level into a panty twist.
I don't care who thinks I am hot or beautiful...
only one person's opinion on that issue matters and he likes me fine.
I am not compelled to out-dress my friends or own the biggest and best house, car, etc. comparatively.
I know for a fact that when I die, I won't miss any of my things, so who the hell cares who gets what?
I am content in my life.
It makes me happy.
Happy makes me feel like being nice.
Even if it pisses her off.