Tuesday, March 27, 2012



Last Saturday evening I got a text from the Bear.
She informed me that Squeaky would not be coming to visit me on the bus.
She would be bringing Squeaky herself.
Yay!  Yay!  Yay!

The man got such a kick out of surprising my kids
at Christmas...
that I decided not to tell him that they were coming.
Along comes Sunday morning...
I get a text that they are 30 minutes away.

Can I have some lunch ready?
Mikey P. is starving to death and any food will do.
I had nothing to toss together...
off I set to the take and bake pizza joint.
Unfortunately they were not yet open.
So I sat.

The man and T were in the shop working on cabinets
when the kids arrived.
Bear texted to ask where I was.
I said they were just now making the pie and to go on in without me.
They did indeed!
That's how it happened that when the man
went from the shop to the kitchen...
he found our unexpected guests.
It made him very happy.

Bear and Mikey P. could not stay long.
They had to go hunt for owl pellets.
But they had a nice lunch and we had a good, if short visit with them.
Squeaky remained behind with us.

This made for a wonderful Sunday!
Since then, Squeaky and I have been having a nice, nice visit.
But he's here on a mission.
When I moved, I was teaching him to drive...
and his older siblings were supposed to take on that task.
That did not happen.
Siblings were busy with college,
new babies, etc.

So, yesterday we dusted off the old clown car
and took her for a spin.

Um, actually...
more like hopping.

There really isn't a whole lot you can do to help someone
learn how to make the clutch work.
It takes patience and trial and error.
The first day we giggled ourselves silly over the hopping.
By this afternoon, he was no longer laughing.
Frustration had set in.

X cannot drive legally.
But X knows how to drive very well.
I put X on the phone and handed it to the boy.
Squeaky asked questions.
He hung up.
Then carefully... slowly... slowly...
drove ahead.
Not a single hop.

What did X say that I had not gotten across?
Something about the ratio of this or that to match the force required...
blah, blah, blah.
Secret guy math/car sort of stuff that eludes me.

No matter.
It made sense to the boy.
It worked.
And the joy and pride on his face when he gleefully exclaimed
"Ha ha!  Now you are my bitch!"
to the clown car...
made it a pretty cool moment.

I told him that tomorrow we will venture out 
of the safety of the old parking lot and into the neighborhood lanes...
after he has practiced some more smooth take offs.
He has 4 more driving days here with me.
I think he will be doing fine by the time he goes back home.

He drives well enough in an automatic.
But X came into a bit of money and bought Squeaky a
used car... with a stick.
His permit is only good for one more month.
But I'm betting
with a car for a carrot...
Squeaky gets his license in a month.


  1. I don't think I could handle BHM showing me how to drive.... I have driven.. but not on highways.. dirt roads mostly or through a campground.. Maybe I ought to get my license... or maybe I will just get a scooter.. we don't need a license for that here..lol

  2. good luck! my daughter failed her test 4 times! she finally passed last month after 6 years. she failed twice when she turned 16 and quit trying. recently she decided it was time to drive and she failed twice more before passing. (some bitter old asshole in washington state told me that women were too stupid to drive.)

    i offered to give her the might sonata but she turned it down!

  3. What a cool visit :) And good for you for taking the time to teach Squeaky to drive stick...I still cannot and it is kind of embarrassing in a way. I bet, too, that he will be ready to get his license by the time his permit expires.

    Just out of curiosity, my kids have all disected owl pellets...do they sell them to schools...or companies that sell them to schools?

  4. Make sure you go find him a hill! But good for him, and his bitch too.

  5. Mrs. Harry Woman- I have always wanted a moped scooter! I think it would be a great way to get around. Less money at the gas pump and though it would not give you exercise, it would get you to places in non-sweaty condition. Of course there is the helmet head issue. =;]

    billy pilgrim- Oh no! Poor Fast Food Princess. I taught my daughter to drive when she was 14 and she took to it like a duck to water. However, my second son decided that he would rather not learn how to drive after a few driving lessons from me. This last son is a bit anxious, but I think he's doing very well for the most part.

    laura b.- Originally I learned with a stick. I've always had one. I think this clown car will be my last stick shift. The clutch kills my left leg. =:/ I'm dreaming of an automatic these days.

    Yes! They do indeed sell their owl pellets to schools and various research institutions. Your children may have taken apart one of their pellets! How cool is that?

    NoRegrets- Oh my... does that ever remind me of my first day of driving by myself. We had very few hills in Fresno. I was not trained how to deal with them. I drove up the side of a steep overpass... and found a signal at the top. I could not get my car to go without dying on the darned thing. Two nice college aged boys got out of their pick-up truck and held my little Sprite in place so that I could pull away and not back into anyone. I never went that way again and it was years before I braved any other steep inclines. Good call, NoRegrets! I will do that.

  6. I learned to drive first on a tractor, when I was 13 (we live din a farm). By the time I got to cars, stick shifts were old hat But boy, did my older son struggle with it!