ELDER HOLIDAY DAZE

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I KNOW...

I've done my birthday to death now.

This one is not about me.

One year when I was working at the school,

I happened to hear that one of our volunteers

was having a birthday.

She was a sweet old gal who

brought to mind Edith Bunker.

On a whim,

I put a candle in a hostess cupcake

and presented her with it.

She burst into tears!

Oh crap!

Leave it to me to make Edith Bunker cry.

She explained that she and her husband and never had 

children and all her own siblings were gone.

She had not had a birthday cake or card

since her husband had died three years prior.

Blew me away.

I think about my own dad...

who once said to me

"Birthdays are like any other day.

Nothing special."

when I handed him my card.

I knew that they had been special when I was a kid

and we had family parties.

I knew they were special all the way up

until my mother passed away.

Then it wasn't the same anymore.

But he still had me and my kids living in the same town

and my brother and sisters

who came up every few years to spend a few days celebrating with him.

It wasn't the same, but there were people who loved him

close by.

Obviously I love birthdays and holidays...

I celebrate my day for a whole week until it arrives.

I hope I never lose that.

I think that I have begun to understand that let down.

Cards are mailed early to make sure they arrive on time.

They are opened and read and put on the mantle.

When you are alone, 

it must be bitter sweet to be remembered from afar.

By the time your day or holiday arrives,

the celebration is pretty much over.

For those older people who have living family who 

don't live near, but care...

there are phone calls.

But I think the end result must be that same bitter sweetness.

Once the calls end,

they are still alone.

I'm sure the cards and being remembered are good things.

But I wish there was something more.

Something that lasts longer.

I guess that's where church groups

or other senior groups come in handy.

The in-laws belong to a camping club.

I will be attending their culb's

Thanksgiving get together this Saturday.

Its a great group!

Many have joined with their spouses

and the spouse passes away...

but they still have their camp buddies who

make a point of having celebrations for everyone in the group

who is alone.

But I know there are people out there,

like my Edith Bunker,

who are just plain alone.

I know a man named Jack.

He was the man that I had considered working for...

as his housekeeper before the man and I committed to each other

and I agreed to move in here.

I don't know Jack's birthday.

Since he cannot leave his home...

I think the day after Thanksgiving that 

I should take him a plate of goodies...

and share some laughs.

 

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

I look forward to my birthday every year.
I don't care that it makes me a year older.
The fact that I survived another year is worth celebrating.
Its my day.

So far my birthday has paid off with my Kindle from Squeaky
and two book downloads...
"In The Balance" (Harry Turtledove)
and The Cool War (Frederik Pohl).
A book is the perfect present for me.
I am grateful for all of the above...
and I am tickled pink!

This morning when the man gets off of work,
he comes home carrying a camouflage sack on his shoulder.
He walks inside, swings it around to me and says
"Happy birthday."

Ummmm...
I knew what it was,
not a difficult thing since it wasn't wrapped.
A folding camp chair.

Oh.

Don't worry, I smiled, hugged and thanked him.

He said
"It was a good thing you said you wanted a new chair,
because I had no idea what to get you."

That he had no idea what to get was pretty obvious to me at that moment.

This would not have made it onto my birthday list.

It was because of a statement I'd made about the chair 

that I sit in out in the shop.
Two days prior, 

I had felt the chair out there wobble.
I stood up and looked at it and saw that the rivet was trying to come out.
I turned to the man and said

"I'm going to have to get another chair...
this one is about to give out."

What I meant was that I needed get one of the folding metal chairs 

that we have in abundance, 

to use instead.

Well, I am touched anyway,
even if it would not make my wish list.

He listened to my ramblings and 

thought he'd found an idea that would work for a gift.

He was thinking about what to get me, even worried over it.
That is a gift in itself.

And one that I do appreciate very much.

I gotta love him for trying.

But next year I think I'll help him out and post a list on the fridge.

=;]

GHOST OF TURKEY PAST

X and I had our first "adult" Thanksgiving in the Town to the Left.
It was in our curious little first house...
one on the edge of a huge orchard made from
not at all attractive cinder block.
It kind of looked like a bunker.

But we were young and I thought it had a pretty view.
I couldn't wait to have my parents come for Thanksgiving diner
so I could be the hostess for the first time.
I spent days decorating,
trying to make the place look festive.

The turkey was in the oven,
all the goodies were waiting on the sideboard
and our side dishes rested in their pots
on top of the stove until it was time to put them

in the French glassware bowls.

My folks showed up, hugs all around.
My mom made appropriate sounds about my efforts.
We were in great spirits.
My dad wanted to peek at the turkey.

He was the turkey wrapper in the house I grew up in.

He'd spend an hour or more doing foil oragami

 until it was perfect.
No doubt he wanted to check what I'd done...
and sniff the aroma.
We all followed him into the kitchen.

After he'd closed the oven door,
we had to shuffle around to make room for him to back out.
It was a very small kitchen.
X stepped to one side, 

then slid butt first across the long oven door handle.
My dad leaned up against the counter
as mom and I poured everyone drinks.

Standing there chatting,
mom looks toward the stove.
She said "Oh!"
My dad and I immediately began to look for trouble.
My mom had a way of saying "Oh." that meant
bad things were happening.
Things like fire, or killing the garbage disposal by
dropping her diamond ring down in there and turning it on.
(No, not on purpose.)

It was a very tiny "Oh." with a powerful meaning.
We must have looked pretty worried
because X turned around and started looking
for whatever we were looking at.
That's when I saw it.

"How did that get turned on?"
My dad rushed to the oven and brushed X aside.
He began to pull on the oven cleaning knob frantically.

It was X's turn to say "OH!" in a not at all tiny way.
We could see the turkey through the window.
We could hear the oven ticking as it began to super heat.
"George!  Get it out of there!" 

my mom said helpfully.
He paused to look at her like she'd lost her mind,
then went back to frantically pulling at the knob.

"Your butt did it." 

I accused X.
"Get the manual!" shouted my dad.
X and I both began to paw through the kitchen drawers.
It had to be there somewhere.
My mom began to giggle.

I was seeing a vision of a platter of ash in the middle
of my beautifully decorated table.
My dad began to giggle too.
It was ridiculous.
Who manages to self-clean their Thanksgiving turkey?

The X took two steps forward,
leaned down and pulled the oven plug.
We listened to it tick for a few minutes
then the locking mechanism made a loud click
and released our bird.
We all released our breath.

As it turned out, no harm was done.
We plugged the oven back in and moved
into the living room where we could avoid repeating that mistake.
The next day when they left,
my mom told me that it was a wonderful meal...
I had done a good job.
We all looked at each other and cracked up.

Somehow that story comes up every Thanksgiving.

DUCK FARTS

I know, you all aren't into my Ducks like I am.

I'll try to be brief.

=;]

Bear's family left early yesterday morning.

We were a bit tired, to say the least.

But in a very happy way.

By the time our evening game began

we were pretty darned pooped.

Honestly,

I wasn't sure that either of us would make it through the game.

But the Ducks started out hot...

and jump started our energy level into high gear.

This was supposed to be the game 

between the two best PAC 12's top teams.

Even Lee Corso picked Stanford to win!

Unbelievable to us.

Lee is usually one of our biggest supporters.

The long and the short of it

is that the Ducks won.

Both teams played good games.

It was a heck of a good game to watch.

No one can blame the refs.

No one can say they didn't both have the talent on the field.

 

Of course the "duck farts" helped elevate our joy.

I've never had a duck fart before...

mmmmm...

very tasty!

One third each;

Bailey's Irish Cream

Crown Royal

and

Kahlua

in a shot glass.

Kind of reminded me of an old Happy Days episode

where Ritchie comes home sloshed

tells dad he had beer but they were in 

"teeny weeny glasses".

Dad asks him how many he drank.

"57".

 

No, we didn't drink 57 duck farts.

But they did sneak up on me!

Holy crap.

 

I have not had a hangover in over 30 years.

I still keep that record...

but I think I got closer than I like.

Duck Farts are dangerous.

But seem so innocent.

=:}

 

Today is a quiet day.

The man is sleeping and I'm moving slowly.

But its not a bad day despite the rain.

That was something funny one of the announcers said.

He was talking about how Stanford was in their own

house... and though it was raining, 

they should be used to that there with real grass.

But it was the Ducks who didn't seem to be having any

trouble playing in the rain.

Well duh.

Oregon stays green because it is a wet state.

Our fellas take to it like...

well...

like Ducks to water.

And...

I Guess Andrew Luck doesn't walk on water after all.

=;]

SURPRISE

I had the nicest surprise yesterday!

Bear, Turkey and Mikey P

dropped in for the night on their way down to Cal.

Bear called once they were on the road.

I'm always up for company.

Yay!

I had just enough time to throw together

homemade chimmichangas 

and spanish rice.

They walked in the door as the goodies

were coming out of the oven.

I baked a peach pie earlier,

and had some cherry cobbler...

from a few days back.

We had a feast!

They had to leave early...

6:00 AM

so it was a short visit.
But they will stop by on their way back in a few weeks.

Bear brought my birthday present from

Squeaky.

My birthday is not until Weds.

He was on his way to the post office to mail

it when his sister saw him and said she would drop it on her way.

Earlier in the day he had ridden on his bike

three miles to a newspaper stand...

for "wrapping paper"

AKA the funnies.

The funny papers were often used as wrapping

paper when he was growing up

when the gift wrap ran out.

It gave my gift a nostalgic feel.

Nice.

In typical Squeaky style,

he covered all the edges in tape,

so that I would really have to work at getting inside it.

Once I did and read the word on the side of the box,

I said to Bear

"It can't really be that...

where would he get the money?"

I could not believe that was actually what it was!

 

A Kindle!

I have wanted one for a long time.

It brought tears to my eyes.

That boy is really something.

Later I got a text from Ex...

telling me that I would really like the new show

"Grimm".

When I answered it, 

I told him what Squeaky got me.

He knew all about it.

He said that Squeaky had worked 

very hard to get the money...

doing handyman stuff for Roger,

who is kind of a big jerk and no fun to work for.

But Squeaky was determined.

Squeaky is like that. 

He sets his mind and follows through.

Later when I finally took it out of the box,

after everyone else had gone to bed,

I found this note inside.

"Happy birthday Mom.

I figured after all these years

it was time to give something back.

Sorry if this doesn't make it in time.

Call me and I'll email

you some books.

Love ya

Squeaky"

That really triggered the water works.

I'll probably keep it 

long after the Kindle stops working

or becomes obsolete...

with his note tucked safely inside it's box.

I love and miss that boy.

I could not ask for a better son.

I wonder what books to get?

Got any ideas?

 

HONOR

By the time this post hits, 

it will be Veteran's Day.

That is not a day that I am personally willing to forget

or let slip past unnoticed.

My dad served in the U.S. Air Force,

too late to be in WWII...

too early for Korea.

I am glad he was here to be my dad.

Papa, my mother's father

served in the U. S. Army in WWI...

where he lost a lung to mustard gas.

But he came home relatively safe...

and still managed to smoke roll your own

Bull Durhams into his 70s...

able to be my much, much loved "Papa".

The man also served
in the U.S. Army.

Like my father, 

he would have gone to war if called.

What would I  do without him?

I am grateful that they were not called to war,

yet very proud that they were willing.

Many have gone to war.

Many have come home

safe perhaps,

certainly changed by that experience,

if not changed physically.

Many have died.

You cannot give more than your life.

There is no price you can put on that huge offering.

Today at our house, 

we hang our flag with pride and gratitude...

our way of showing our respect

and our thanks...

to all who serve,

all who have served

and all who will serve...

May God bless them!

I'M THE TURKEY NOW

This was the man's parents house...

and everyone in the clan always gathered at

grandma and grandpa's house when his kids were growing up.

Then grandpa got sick and passed away.

The man and ex divorced.

Their family holidays fell apart once grandpa died.

Especially after grandma remarried and moved in with her new husband.

The man's daughter, R, lamented that she missed big family holidays here.

So the man asked me if I would mind doing Thanksgiving here.

It's nice that he asked, but not required.

What are holidays for if not to have your family together?

Of course we could host Thanksgiving!

I texted all his kids to invite them.

I also invited the man's ex...

She has been a family member way longer than I have.

She belongs with the family.

Besides we have been to birthday parties and 

last Christmas at Jr's and we got along fine.

R dropped in on me today.

She, her husband and kids will be coming.

She wants to come over and help cook...

Yay!

I still didn't know if Jr and family were coming.

They have been out of state and not gotten back to me.

R said there might be a problem with them.

Her mom, the ex, says she does not want to come.

I make her feel weird.

I'm very sorry about that.

I have done everything I can possibly do to make her

comfortable around me.

I thought we were getting along well.

I guess not.

The man's kids are in a situation where they don't want

their mom to be sitting home alone

on Thanksgiving.

They feel badly and worry for her.

Good kids!

But I do feel bad for R, who wanted to have

a big family gathering here like she had growing up.

That was the whole point of having it here.

R's attitude is that this is her mom's problem.

R wants to be here.

R thinks that maybe Jr. and family and her

youngest brother will want to be with their mom.

I could see that it was hard for her to discuss this,
but she wanted me to know,

so that I would not be

surprised if they did not come...

and to understand why.

I appreciate that.

So far it's the in-laws, his grandson and R's group.

If the others make other plans,

I hope they will let me know...

one way or another.

I need to know to plan my menu and shopping list.

I am ready to start baking goodies!

I am also looking forward to having R and little N

help with the cooking.

Kids in the kitchen crack me up!

Holidays without kids are kind of sad to me.

I miss mine and I'm ready to celebrate with anyone

who is willing to come...

especially the kids!

Yet I find myself feeling odd about this deal with their mom.

This is the man's Thanksgiving too...

and he would like to have his kids around to celebrate with him.

Its sad that she won't let that happen

because it makes her feel odd.

Maybe we need to set up a schedule...

alternate years for holidays.

That way both parents could have their kids all together.

That way neither parent is left totally out.

I had friends as a kid who had divorced

parents who did that.

Still, as adults I do not see any reason that we cannot

all celebrate together.

Can being around me for a day

honestly be that much worse than sitting alone?

I just don't get it.

=:/