Monday, December 17, 2012

BZZZZZZ

Morning.


I sat up.
Ugh.
Another day.

Roxy peers up at me with that guilty look...
the one that begs me not to make her get out of her warm bed just because I have to work.
Were our roles reversed, I would make the same face.

The chill of morning air requires that I put on my clothes as rapidly as possible...
and my room is the warmest in the house.
They are cold...
but only briefly.
I top it all  with a hoodie.

I put the last night's coffee into the giant Starbucks container
 and shove it into the microwave.
Next stop is the bathroom.

This is the routine;
put hair in pony tail, brush teeth, use mouthwash, beat the toothbrush on the edge of the sink and replace it in the cup.
(No worries... deodorant is next to my bed in my table drawer and part of getting dressed.)

I reach over and click out the light.
Bzzzzzzzz... zzzz...zzz...
I turn the light back on.
zzzzzzzzzzzz....

Its an insistent little buzzzzz.
I put my hand on the light box.
No vibration.
I look at Randy's beard trimmer, then touch it.
No vibration.
I pull open the drawer and check the old shaver.
Not only is it silent, but it is unplugged.
Oh yeah.  Duh.
Still... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I feel the wall.
What if it's a short or something electrical?
The wall feels normally cool.
zzzzzzzzzzzz
I touch the light again, like that will help.
I feel the counter.

Meanwhile the phone in my pocket begins to play its morning swan song...
my alarm telling me that if I want to get to work on time that I need to leave NOW.
zzzzzzzzzz

Well crap.
No hope for it... I'm going to have to go to work.
I rush to the kitchen and write the man a note.
"There's an electrical sounding buzzz in the front bathroom...."

I lock the front doors behind me hoping that my home will not burn down.
I think about the buzzz all through the first two hours of my day at work.
By break time I can't stand it....

"Its me" I say cleverly, as if he did not know.
My phone announcement on his phone is the William Tell Overture.
"Did you figure out the buzzz?"

"Its okay.  Only a little fire.  Its out now..."
I feel relief!
He would never sound that calm if there had been a real fire.
"It was your toothbrush Silly Rabbit!"

Ok.
Mystery solved.
Then he says

"Now you want to tell me how to shut the damn thing off?"

13 comments:

  1. So what time do you have to get up that makes you that addled in the morning? I am definitely not a morning person, but years of having to get up at 5:45 to get kids to school and me to work have made me learn how to go on autopilot, even if I do move a little slowly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I get up at 5:30 these days. (I used to get up at 4:30 to walk when I worked at the school.) I pretty much live on auto pilot until I have downed my coffee.
      I know that I pushed the button to turn the tooth brush off. But it has two buttons so perhaps I pushed the wrong one... the "on" instead of "off" before I stuck it in the cup. The sound did not seem to be there until I shut the light off...
      when I also shut off the water. It was not until then that I hear the buzz.

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  2. ruby lies under her blanket with one eye open and both ears perked up waiting to hear the rustling of her leash then she springs to action.

    i'm up at 4:45 on cracker factory days and the first thing i do is pour water into the coffee maker and press the button. fresh super strong coffee is essential.

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    Replies
    1. I love Ruby! I can see her peeking.

      I make a pot of coffee every other day. I don't want to waste it and I am terrible at figuring out how much makes only half a pot and still tastes right. I would perish without my morning coffee.

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  3. Too funny....
    I love your writing!!!
    Hugs,
    J.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Jackie! Thanks. Sorry I have not been around much of late.

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  4. oh man, that could so be me. good thing i still have an old fashioned toothbrush. funny stuff though. good to see you around these parts again.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks lime. Its good to feel good enough to be back.

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  5. Haha, definitely sounds like something I would do.

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  6. Thanks for the chuckle. Just one more reason why I still use an old fashioned toothbrush.

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  7. Isn't it just irritating as all hell when something is making a noise and you can't put your finger on what it is? I think you've given me an idea for a post when I start writing new stuff again after the new year - my morning routine. If I write it up, I'll give you credit for inspiration :-)

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  8. Funny stuff, silly rabbit. Glad everything turned out OK . Hope you and yours have a Merry Christmas.

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  9. Heh. If I were in his place, that toothbrush would have ended up under your pillow or something.

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