Hello, it's me!
I know, I fell off the radar for about 2 years. Very stressful years. When I get stressed or depressed, everything else goes out the window.
I truly do not know if anyone will notice that I have returned.
Or if I am just sending words out into the web to dangle. It doesn't matter. Either way is fine. I just want to use my voice.
My husband had a stroke close to 4 years ago now. I see those FB posts that ask "If your spouse became disabled, would you leave them?" What a stupid freaking question. Not if you love them. Duh. That being said, it is a difficult adjustment. We had a sudden, massive loss of his income... and a 3 year battle to get his disability to start.
Eventually it did and bills were paid, family repaid and we ate real food again. Yay! I was the only one working and the only one cleaning, keeping up a large yard etc. Being the only one who handles pretty much everything gets exhausting when times are difficult.
Working at the Big Dub-yah ended for me a few months ago. In 3 months I had been to the urgent care 3 times for work related injury. Tendons in my arms went crazy and my back had fire across it and down my leg. There wasn't a box I picked up or something I reached for that caused any one problem. The problem is that I'm getting old. I'm 62 and the Big Dub-yah was wearing me out before my time through overuse.
I left work one day feeling miserable physically and emotionally and when I tried to get up the next day, my arms refused to lift and function. Just call me T-Rex. The doc said to do nothing at all for 10 days. This does not fit into the Big Dub-yah's idea of how long you can miss work. You can bring in a note from your doctor, but unless you get cleared by the no pay time off police, you can be fired.
I did not give a damn. Fire me please! But they did not want to fire me. The day before I was supposed to return, I phoned to say that I wasn't. I "retired" without pay.
You have no idea how much that elevated my attitude. Slowly I have become human again. My body still gets sore, but I can stop and wait for the pain to pass and then continue whatever I need to be doing. I am now waiting for my Social Security to begin... in a month or so. I have no faith in their ability to keep their date promises. If it shows up on time, I'll be thrilled.
Then, a little miracle happened. Our home that we live in is my husband's inheritance. There was, when we first became engaged, a total drama melt down by his daughter over thinking the house was hers. But as long as Grandma lived, it was Grandma's house.
No Grandma did not die and hopefully will not for a very long time. But what Grandma did do was come to a decision that she wanted to sell this house. There is still money owed on it from a second mortgage. If she sold it, she could pay off the mortgage and pay for a house in full for us. A house that was not as large and hard to take care of... because it is a handful. Randy is to get his inheritance now instead of when she dies.
Our house in our name, including mine. The deal is that if Randy dies first, I live in the house as long as I live. Then Randy's children can sell the house and split the money. And its all in writing.
So we began to look for houses. The market here sucks. Not much is available. Then Mom suggests that we look where I used to live so that we can be closer to my kids and our grand kids. I have missed them so much! What a total joy. My kids love Randy and he's Grandpa Fuzzy to their kids. The family we have here are not close. They live 10 minutes away and do not visit. (Residual divorce bitterness.)
So I called the Bear and together we began hunting the internet for houses in the Gorge. It was amazing how many nice homes were available. Mom was just as excited as we were. Two days later, Bear had a real estate agent lined up with a tour of possibilities. Off we went with Mom and Dad to look at houses.
The third one we saw was it. No doubt. Perfect for us in every way.
It's got 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, dining, kitchen nook, living room, an oversized garage and a covered porch. There are already bars in place to help Randy go safely up the two stairs from the garage to the house and in the master bath. He has some balance issues. The shower is big enough for two people in the master bath... which is great because he needs help making sure he gets rinsed on his left side. His brain forgets that his left side exists.
So we are ready for a new adventure. The town we chose is not Dumb Potters Hell. It's further east. But close enough to Max and Eli (pictured above who still live there), the Bear who is 15 minutes west, and Boo who lives in the same town.
I go now to continue to pack... ugh. I hate moving. So much junk! Where does it come from? BTW, my Ducks suck this year. I still love them. Sniffle. Roxy thinks something weird is going on and is watching to be sure that we don't run away again. Life is full of adventure once more, and I can hardly wait to experience what it holds.
Same time next week!