Friday, August 3, 2012


What's that do?
Take a guess...

I am busy being a worker bee these days,
learning my new job.
Well, actually learning all the propaganda...
I mean...
philosophy of the company I now work
Let me say that Herman Hesse would never work there...
or if  he did,
there's a good book in it.

I have had over 20 years of retail experience...almost
all the experience I have under my belt before
working at the school was retail.

I have never had to do workbooks
and  classes on computer
plus watch many short videos
and signed so many documents saying
that I have been given information and understand it.

They would simplify things if they
asked us to sign a form that says we promise not to sue
if we are harmed at work
and that our actions are our actions alone...
and not a reflection of the company policies
if we piss someone off.

So today I look forward to 
6 hours of online classes.
6 hours!
Good lord almighty!
What have I got to learn that I can't get through
without 6 hours more of classes ?

This is NOT brain surgery.

Want to know what my job will be?

"Good morning, thank you for calling BlahBlahBlah.
How may I direct your call?" 
I push a lit up button on a normal looking phone
to put them on hold
while I look on a chart to see what extension they need
and then push two more buttons.

Sometimes I let people into the dressing room.
I count how many things go in...
and how many come out.
You only need to be able to count up to six!

I put things on a rack to be put away later.
If I see something damaged...
I put it into a box.

And of course...
I am nice and helpful to all customers.

Hi ho!


  1. Wow six hours is a heck of a long time for an orientation/training session!

    1. Yes Tara, it is! And I've already had two 8 hour orientation/training sessions too. Is this not crazy?

    2. And... I don't even begin to start training at my actual job until tomorrow.

  2. It's paid training though? Right? Heck, as long as you are getting paid consider it easy money!

    1. Yes, it is supposed to be paid, though not much pay.

  3. by the emperor, that's a silo to hold ginger for males of the race!

    do you have to address the customers as superior sir?

    1. Ha! You are such a clever guesser! But sorry, no ginger for you!

      Perhaps I will try addressing them as such. It would certainly add some interest to my day.

    2. Oops... I forgot. No ginger for you superior sir!

  4. that's more than a wee tad excessive. this must be some massive corporate chain or something equally depersonalizing. outrageous.

    1. It is indeed a massive one. I have signed a paper saying that I will never mention it or its polices, rules, etc. publicly by name. Which is okay because I don't my former stalker weird-o to know where I work.

  5. Arrrgghhh....all the red tape that one must go through these days! It's everywhere....simply everywhere. (There must be a shortage of red tape somewhere, 'cause we are all using it up, aren't we! :)) )
    I know that you are kind and courteous to all; I can just tell that about you. Continued prayers for you. I know that there is something wonderful in store for you because of this. I just know it. Can't wait to hear about it one day. I'm serious!
    Hugs and warm smiles,

    1. I'm still not done either! Over the next week this will continue.

      I must say that they are extremely complete with their information. And they do a great job of drilling it into your head. We have learned about so many things... general retail stuff I know as well as how to deal with work place violence... domestic, mass and otherwise, the proper methods to cleaning chemical spills and protection for ourselves and customers. Not to mention the proper way to use a wide variety of machines that do everything from compact to, lift and move items... and all those emergency situations. Its crazy how much they want us to absorb.
      Thank you for your continued support!

  6. Hang in there, silly rabbit. Hopefully this is just a detour and you are on the path to bigger and better things. Enjoy your weekend.

    1. I'm hanging Shife! I decided today that its time to invite medication back into my life. I have begun to feel the edges fraying. Sigh. So it goes. Depression is a sneaky little imp.
      I think hereafter we shall refer to my medication as "ginger". I'm feeling a bit lizardly. =;]

  7. All of that training is a company's ridiculous way of feeling that they've covered their ass completely in the event of absolutely anything. I feel for you enduring it.
    Hopefully you will soon find something more suited to you and this will all be just another comical story :)

    1. I am hoping so laura b.! In fact... I think I may have a good line on something much better. Think good thoughts.

  8. Welcome to "competition," "free-market efficiency," and "the new global economy." Or, to put it more succinctly: "BEND OVER!"

    I wonder if The Jungle is still covered in "our failing public schools." I doubt it.

    Remeber when Carlin advocated changing the death penalty to public, live, nude, crucifixion on pay-per-view? I can think of a few I'd pay to see. Heh, heh.

    1. Sadly Cricket... I myself removed "The Jungle" from the library shelf in the school where I used to work. It had not been checked out since 1978. =:[

      Bend over is right. And it makes the coworkers crazy... they go after each other's throats.

    2. Sadly Cricket... I myself removed "The Jungle" from the library shelf in the school where I used to work. It had not been checked out since 1978. =:[

      Bend over is right. And it makes the coworkers crazy... they go after each other's throats.

  9. It's a ginormous beer bong. Not that I would know anything about such things.

    Glad to hear you're working!

    1. You are so close! But more of a ginormous fish bong. Ha! It sucks fish up, water and all and moves them to either another pond or to a tanker truck. I'm thinking that they feel a bit dizzy and ill after the experience.

      Working is good. But I wish it were better.

  10. I was going to guess an enormous salad spritzer. You put vinegar in one part, and oil in another, then...

  11. Hey you. Hope all is well with work, life, and everything else.

  12. When I got a job at a call centre, there was a three day training (paid) too. I was so grateful for this - the training was a googolplex times less boring than the actual job... I wasn't exactly swimming in money at the time, but after a couple of weeks I resigned because a publishing house offered me an unpaid work placement!