Just hanging around today.
I have a neighbor that we call "Damn Pat". I imagine that everyone has had one at some point. She reminds me of my pit bull, who believes that everything she can see is her property. There are no boundaries. However, unlike Damn Pat, my dog doesn't try to fix the world according to Damn Pat.
I live in an HOA community. HOAs can be good or bad. It depends on the people who run them. Ugh. Damn Pat is not on the board. Instead, she uses the HOA rules and regulations to make complaints after she has told someone what they should do and they don't respond by doing it immediately. She is not a fun neighbor and unfortunately, she is my only neighbor who has a driveway and yard next to mine.
A year ago she told me that my arborvitae along my patio were a fire hazard. She asked me to cut the bottom four feet up from the ground. She said she has a fear of fire. Huh. Like I don't after losing my husband to fire? When he died, within days, she told me that it was tragic, but it was just a matter of time, since he smoked cigars. Who says stuff like that to a new widow?
Damn Pat does not have many social skills. Mostly because she lives in the firm belief that she, and only she is 100% right all the time.
Because it is easier to just do what Pat says, we removed all the lower limbs from the arborvitae. Unfortunately that shocked them and they began to die at a rapid rate. So she came over again to demand that I remove the dead and dying plants a few weeks ago.
As it happens, due to a leg injury that is still healing and my inability to work in the heat, I had to make other arrangements. My daughter was out of town. My son is working 10 or more hours and has for nearly 3 months, plus has an invalid wife and four children at home. I don't have the funds to hire someone to do this. Plans were put in place.
Not being fast enough for Damn Pat, she once again made a formal complaint to the HOA board. I got a letter telling me to remove the plants. I called my board member and explained that plans were already in place. She was very nice about it and thanked me for letting her know. It should have been the end of it.
Here's a shout out to ex-husbands who act like adults when you have children together. My Ex is still my friend. We share all holidays, birthdays, etc with our kids, here at my home. Proof that divorce does not have to break up a family under the right conditions. Obviously this is not always the case.
Any hoo... Ex came to my rescue at the cost of my stuffed bell peppers. He works for food. He's not much of a cook when it's just himself.
Last Saturday Ex arrived and began to cut the arborvitae down. Instantly Damn Pat shows up and begins to take control of the situation. I am impressed that Ex didn't go nova. It took him all day, because neither of us has a truck to make a dump run. Damn Pat who has a big truck decided that we needed to cut everything into little pieces that will fit into big garbage bags. Eleven bags, that she lined up against my house because she's afraid that they will combust and set her yard on fire. My eyes are still rolling. We are smokers. She complains about that too. To her it's obvious that we will push burning butts into the bags mindlessly.
In actuality, we use water ashtrays that put out sparks in the ash and butts instantly. I don't allow anyone to crush out butts on the ground. I don't want to have to pick them up. I also like a nice clean yard.
By the end of the day, Damn Pat had her way and even talked Ex into giving her two of my bags of bark bits because in her opinion, I do not put down a thick enough layer. She put both bags in the small bed next to her yard. I only use one bag per bed and had already put a bag down in that bed. Ex apologized later and said he had to get her out of his hair. I get that. But how the hell did she know that I have a stack of bark bits hidden in my garage? Honestly! Invasive woman!
Damn Pat said that with the cuttings in bags, that she and her poor henpecked husband would drop one bag into each of the park dumpsters and dump the rest the following garbage day. That was actually nice.
Then she announced that she felt that my exhausted, overworked son was not caring for the side yard as efficiently as she could. (I kicked Damn Pat out of my yard at the beginning of summer because she would not respect my request to stop mowing my lawn whenever the mood struck her.) All Sunday she was out mowing, leaf blowing and fiddling in my side yard.
Because I never let Piglet outside alone for her safety from pit bull haters (Damn Pat), there we were on the patio. Pig was sleeping in a sun spot. Up walks Damn Pat to the gate to my patio. I was already upset because she had let herself onto my patio the day before without permission to move things around to the way she thought they should be. ACK! Pig sees her and because she is a lovely friendly dog, she jumped up on the gate to say hello. Piglet can jump 6 feet off of the ground from a sitting position. The gate is not what keeps Pig on the patio. Obedience does. And I am always right there.
Damn Pat says, rattling my gate, "Oh honey, this gate is not safe. Piglet can knock it down!" I sigh and explain that the gate is going to be replaced with a storm door and the patio front is getting lattice to close it in. Deaf ears. She follows with "I know you don't like to hear it but Piglet can really hurt someone if she gets out. It's dangerous!" I guarantee that door will have a good lock to keep Damn Pat out.
So now I know what her next complaint to the board is going to be. She's been trying to get rid of my dog since I got her two years ago. I had to go to the doctor and get a prescription for Piglet to be an emotional support dog. That is exactly what she is. I'm a 67 year old diabetic living alone. Piglet knows when my blood sugar is off and pokes me in the stomach with her nose until I check it. She hasn't been trained, but she knows. Pig is also my companion and partner. My protection, just by looking like she could eat you if she wanted. But she is a sweetie pie. Don't tell the local meth heads that. They are a big problem in this town.
It is wonderful that I have an automatic garage door opener. I can enter and exit my home in peace. Drop that door before I get out of the car. Now with the arborvitae gone, I have very little privacy on my patio. Damn Pat has suggestions for that too, Ugh. Of course she does. But I'm sticking to my plan, not hers. I can't wait for Pat to complain. I've already had my patio plans approved. Sheesh.
Monday, I get a text from Mom telling me that Sate Farm is going to take pictures of the house that day. So State Farm took photos of the outside of my house with 11 garbage bags down the side of my kitchen. Sigh. I texted Mom back and told her to let them know that those are clippings from taking down the bushes that were a fire hazard. She texted back that they put a note in my file and appreciated that they had been removed. Good job.
Damn Pat is exhausting to say the least. Worst neighbor in the history of my life. Have you ever had a neighbor like that?
Now look at the cute baby hanging in the swing. After my rant, I hope she makes you smile. That's Avery about 7 years ago. Bear's daughter. One of the joys in my life that keeps me sane.
